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green_eyed_lolita
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Name: lucy
Birthday: 4/30/1985
Interests: ginsberg, art journals, audrey hepburn, birkoff, clove smoke, dance, ex-lovers, eyeliner, lolita, fall out boy, poe, fashion, filmmaking, francesca lia block, photobooths, hipbones, vonnegut, handcuffs, kurt cobain, london, macaulay culkin, blonde redhead, maggie gyllenhaal, makeouts, mystery science theater, nunnery, old horror films, photography, portishead, richard linklater, self photography, sugar cones, the cure, thrift stores, twilight zone reruns, peach jello, clean sheets.
Expertise: procrastination on a grand scale. adapting lyrics to every situation. mixtape magic. headache management. dance fever.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  lucyfilmmaker
Member Since:
10/10/2003
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| so my head fucking hurts. like, a lot. and i'm going to keep taking advil until it's gone. and i'm not sure it's going to work. but i can't live like this.
OH. MY. GOD. i am so close to finishing i can't even stand it. i know that when i'm done it's going to take me FOREVER to edit, but i'm SO EXCITED!
addicted to giant chewy nerds.
here are some ideas for my life:
1. moving to hawaii, to live in a cheap, moist apartment on the ocean.
or
2. living with my parents until january, saving up a fuckton of money. while living with said parents, getting my act together, consolidating credit card debt and losing fifty pounds and editing novel and shopping for publishers. in january moving into a cheap one bedroom in btown, where i will hang out with steph and make new friends and lovers and write my next book and find a new job and get published and go on a book tour and finally figure out the perfect cupcake and sell it and become famous and beautiful and lovely.
so there's that.
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| some things i really like:
1. taking a couple tylenol PMs and passing the fuck OUT.
2. listening to the dirty version of bad rap songs really loud. examples:
ludacris
dmx
3. blue mountain dew and all it's hillbilly connotations
4. bruschetta
5. caraoke that makes me a little deaf
6. getting new story ideas and thinking about them ALL DAMN DAY
7. weekends off
8. your face
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| christ. so it's like, 2am, and i am cruising around youtube looking at "in loving memory" type videos for people i don't know who have died and crying like a complete fucktard. and the most pathetic thing is i keep coming back to wishing i was a) pretty or b) dead. not sure which thought is ahead right now.
i really, really need to change something soon.
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| so... it's a little like having a toy.
but when you unwrap it it's not exactly what you thought it was.
but you still want to play with it.
but you can't find the instructions.
but you do find them you realize you don't have batteries.
but when you go get batteries you get the wrong size.
that's kind of how it feels to be in love with an impossible idea.
an improbable, ridiculous, stupid, crazy, useless idea.
to the point where i want to cry. or throw up. or do both.
i am not stupid, but sometimes i think my hormones were wired wrong. it's so much easier to not care, to not love or like or want or give a shit. apathy is SO SIMPLE it's insane.
maybe i just need the novelty, something new, because we all know that blind love and loyalty and affection don't please me, and neither do apathy and cold shoulders and drunken mistakes. nothing really makes me all that happy, because you're either in love with me or i'm in love with you. it's mutually exclusive.
on a lighter note, i am a reading machine.
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