March 31, 2010

  • the weather is changing i can feel it in the air.  it's still too cold to ride with the windows down, the air billows out of my mouth in silky mushroom clouds, but i do it anyway.  i'm full of daydreams.

    1. i rode past your father's house tonight, giving someone a ride home.  the light pollution was creeping up over trees that frame the water there and all of a sudden i missed you, a stabbing pain in my stomach.  i miss knowing you were there for me, that we were friends, thinking that you knew me better than anyone.  and i hate missing you.

    2. i always wished that you loved me.  not like you loved her, obviously, and not in the way you thought i meant.  i just wanted for you to care, because i don't think you ever really did.  all i wanted was for you to call me a friend, no matter how messed up things got.  i hate that you tried to make me feel like i don't deserve love.

    3. i used to think about what it would be like, to fly across the country to see you.  you would pick me up at the airport and i would be alluring and mysterious, riding with my feet out your window.  you'd take me to all the places i've always wanted to see, buy me ice cream, smoke with me on the beach.

     

    on a lighter note, i can lose whole days on http://textsfromlastnight.com