April 17, 2010

  • i am not well versed in the art of letting go.  in fact, i'm usually the last one on a sinking ship, bailing out water with a dixie cup.  so i don't know how to step away from this, even though you've made it abundantly clear that you want nothing to do with me.  i really don't know how to go about it, which is especially hard because it's so vital.  this thing is HURTING me, and i need to detach but i can't.

    i keep going back to the first time this happened, and the feeling is so different that i can scarcely believe it.  that time our lives were so entwined that it was like losing a limb.  this time it's like that limb has been gone for a long time, but i still feel it there.  you are my phantom limb.

    the mystery always chokes me the most, the not knowing what i've done that kills me.

    someone teach me how not to feel.