June 10, 2010

  • i'm doing nothing but thinking these days, tripping through my thoughts and practicing economy of speech.  i'm trying to pinpoint exactly where it all went south.  and i think, after much consideration and research, i've pinpointed that point.

    the bottom line is, i don't like people enough to worry about being alone forever.  because i know that would suck, but apparently i'm unhappier being with someone than i am being alone.  at least, the writing was better when i was cyclically heartbroken.  and besides that, it's starting to feel vital that i reclaim that happiness that once filled my nights (up till 330 am watching boys play san andreas or secret meetings in clove smoke filled rooms, knockout drugs and not worrying about anything pertinent).

    it was easier (and more successful) when i didn't think about it so much.  so i'm just going to release, let go, and work toward the ultimate dream... publisher, movie rights, book tour, hipbones, bonnie and clyde west coast.