June 29, 2010

  • i'll admit it, i'm drunk on the interwebz.  my computer has been busted for about 2 weeks now, and i'm losing my damn mind not being able to post (just ask CM) .

    i spent a whole evening sitting on my porch, warm hazy air slipping by, familiar blanket across my legs.  i used to sit there every night in the summer, waiting for someone to walk by and change my mind.  no one ever did, and it was only after i'd crawled into my bed that i'd hear the rocks at my window, pulling me away from my sheets  it still felt so comforting to sit there, to wait, and wonder.

    i wonder what it would have been like to grow up like kids today do, on the internet.  i wonder if i would possibly be more socially inept (imagine!)

    anyway, maybe a little taste of something literary?  perhaps??

    "If I swore to you that you could jump from here, into the water, and it would be perfectly safe, would you trust me?" he asked, taking me by the shoulders and lining me up with the edge.  I could barely even see then, as the moon had passed behind a cloud.  My breath was coming up short, like there was suddenly less space in my lungs.

    "It's really dark, and really far, and have I mentioned I'm terrified of deep water?"  I rambled, struggling to fill my chest with the air that seemed more and more precious.  He turned me then, focusing in closely on my eyes.

    "I don't want to break your little heart or anything, but you seem like you're afraid of everything.  Besides, it's not about fear.  It's about trust.  I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you.  If you trust me, you'll know that."  he finished, and even though my blood was thundering in my ears I nodded.  He smiled again suddenly, wrapping warm fingers around mine and tugging me back to the edge.  I closed my eyes instantly, and instead focused on the thumping of my heartbeat in my head.  I could hear him chuckling.  "Now c'mon… what fun will it be if you can't see what's coming?"

    I didn't answer, just gripped his hand tightly and hoped my trust in him was well placed.  I could hear him counting, but it didn't matter.  In the end I actually jumped first, anything to get it over with.  He didn't let go of my hand until we'd hit the water, and it seemed like the fall should have taken longer.  In an instant I'd gone from shaking on the rock face to deep under the black water, barely knowing which way was up. Somehow, and I'll never really understand how, he managed to find my arm and pull me to the surface.  When I broke through the moon was out again and we'd actually floated quite a ways down.  Before long he was clearly standing on a bigger rock, even though the water was still above our heads.  He pulled me to him, a triumphant look on his face.  I was buoying then, bobbing up and down as he snatched one of my legs and wrapped me around him.  I could use him like a flotation device, and I could feel myself smiling stupidly.            

    "Well," I managed.            

    "Did you like it?" he asked, and I nodded.  The talking stopped there.

    that's all.  sigh.  and this is me: