September 15, 2010

• the past few weeks have been... weird.  i've been completely withdrawn, pulled myself from every social situation imaginable (apart from my free daily therapy sessions, which are starting to weave sense into my brain), abandoned plans and dreams for the future, and... i don't know.  i'm lacking purpose, i think, but sooner or later it comes to a point where you can't drift anymore.

  all i know is my body knows something isn't right and is rebelling against me.  besides that, my dreams are a battleground for my brain, and each night i wage war against exes and lovers and wastelands and 98.6% of the time it's a bit like living a horror movie, except there's little interludes of things that don't fit, a funny little commercial break.

  oh well.  soon my hormones will stop bitchslapping me, though every single time i watch this video i cry, and that just can't be healthy:

  on an unrelated note...

  maybe i know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts
  and we've got to find other ways to make it alone.
  keep a straight face
  and i've always lived like this keeping a comfortable distance
  and up until now i had sworn to myself that i'm content with loneliness
  because none of it was ever worth the risk

  i've mostly outgrown the sappy love songs, but i'm still looking for that.
  

  • 11:37 pm
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