this time every year i usually write a long list of resolutions... i'm going to be nicer, love myself, eat veggies, cultivate peace on earth kumbaya bananarama bullshit. instead this year i thought i'd make a list of all the things i plan to do, with pictures of course... just to get my priorities in order.
1. i'm going to convince a certain someone to come with me to california, where there we will stalk alexander skarsgard and seth mcfarlane at comincon, and go to disneyland, and see the desert, and drive north along the coast to san francisco and see the bridge and the aquarium and eat chinese food. i imagine it will be a lot like the scene in my girl 2, where i ride in the back and swingtown plays.
2. i'm going to actually get some work done, get my books written and (even though you say she writes populist bullshit) i'm going to make a run on my idol. and if it ever works out i'm going to pay off my debt, buy a small cheap car, and buy some land. yep, dream big.
3. i'm going to make martha proud of me with a raised garden, tuille cookies, dutch oven, and sea glass trays. i've got to learn to trust her when she says "sift flour", even though she doesn't respect that my mixer doesn't have a whisk attachment and i don't understand folding batter at all.
4. i'm going to find some way to reclaim my favorite place in the world, even though i haven't got the slightest idea how yet.
5. i'm going to forget about you, jordan catalano. again, i haven't go the slightest idea how yet, but the dreams are literally killing me. it would be a lot easier if you'd let me go, you know.
6. i'm going to do as jess/steph/my mother suggested and try to figure out exactly what's holding me back and fix it.
and lastly, here's a pair of excerpts from the last 7 years... because i'm feeling nostalgic:
and there's a smell of ink all around, a product of the idle doodles and thoughtless scribbles that inhabit my mind. thoughts so sweet, sounds so smooth... wishing more than ever i could find that feeling comfort again, so different from the hard edges and dirty corners of this mindset. the darkness is ambiguous, so soft and softer. it leads to skin and air and all the best intentions. my intent is to recapture the jittery emotions seeping into my ears just now... to feel the roughness again, the choregraphed simplicity of love and lust and infinity.
a long list of things i'd like right now... springtime smells and warm breeze. chocolate. someones lips on mine. sunshine. ocean waves and salt water. popsicles. a ceiling of a hundred billion stars. a worthy debate partner. a book or film that will change my life. to ride a shopping cart down grocery store aisles at breakneck speeds. endless summer nights. stones tapping on my window glass. real food. a huge strawberry mocktail. high heels and concrete to pound them on. highrise buildings. open fields. summer drives that make my skin sticky and my hair tangled. fat snowflakes that stick to my cheeks and eyelashes. to be at the center of the pit. coffee. art supplies. fruit. the smell of upscale restaurants. the smell of BOY. batteries. to know everything there is to know.
that is all.
Recent Comments