i don't have any of my material for this, i spent months and months pouring my heart out onto a computer file, and now i'm at the library and have no way to find it.

and i'll be honest, i almost just left this place and walked home, forgetting i drove.

my weeks have been filled with the following: reckless, useless desire, baking, old dvds and vhs (specifically degrassi, buffy, and home movies that make me burst into tears), hormones, the hospice, dreams every night about faces i don't see anymore, HOPE, and the smell of burning electronics.  oh, and jm of course:

but i won't hold you hostage,
and i won't set you free,
i'll always leave the lights on,
and you'll return to me,
please don't lose the keys

this is how my weekend is shaping up:

additionally, i should be a librarian for YA fiction.  missed my calling.  that is all.